“She doesn’t kick like a girl”

As a follow up from my last blog I must share my most recent soccer experience. As I waited for the adult game to start, I watched the youth soccer practice finish up. As they scrimmaged, I noticed there were a couple of talented young girls. It was great to see these young girls playing soccer and giving the boys a run for their money. To add to my joy, I hear the guys next to me say, with a sideways glance toward me, “you know…you can’t take them for granted just because they're girls.”

"Great!!" I thought. They can see that women can compete with the men and I’m proving to be a good example!! As they notice my happy grin, one man decides to elaborate by saying “see this one [points at one of the girls playing]…she doesn’t kick like a girl!!” Trying not to let my grin fade I think, "so close…and yet so far away." Again I fought the urge to lecture…“what you mean is that she kicks like a soccer player. After all, she is in fact a girl and therefore kicks like a girl; a good, girl, soccer player. Sex has nothing to do with the quality or standards of kicking, the sport of soccer does.”

It seemed to get worse from there. As the adult game got going I blocked a shot on goal. Now it’s important to understand that for some of the young men, these shots seem to be an opportunity to display their power and not-to-be-reckoned-with-maleness. Consequently they kick the ball as hard as they can. This irritates me to no end because when the ball is kicked so hard, control is almost totally lost. Thus it goes soaring off into the nets, sideboards, people…basically anywhere but the goal (granted it does get there quickly). However, since the point of shooting is to score, I am continually frustrated by this unnecessary, fruitless tactic.

So when I blocked this forceful ball, it smacked my upper body and it hurt. But despite my momentary pain I would rather that everyone just continued to play, AS I DID. But no I get an apology “I’m so sorry, are you ok?” Yes, I am! Can’t you see I am still playing, not crumpled on the ground crying. I’m a soccer player, and as such I expect that I will get hit. In fact I will place myself in the ball's path in the hopes that I will get hit. That’s the point! Maybe next time I will just respond by saying “no problem, you were just kicking like a boy!”

Sex Worker Protection and Needle Exchange: Safety or Morality?

As of today, there is no known medical cure for HIV/AIDS, though various sources seem to indicate there are plenty of untapped social cures. In this context, cure implies a means intended to lessen the impact and prevalence of HIV/AIDS globally. After stumbling across an article entitled “Neither Victims Nor Voiceless: Sex Workers Speaking for Themselves” through RH Reality Check, I became interested in sharing a few related finds and observations. The article and accompanying film discuss sex workers in India who are tackling sky-high HIV rates by employing HIV-Peer Education and condom distribution. The community-based organization which leads these efforts is called SANGRAM; it aims to prioritize the voices of sex workers to better understand the best strategies for effectively assisting these women.

While this specific organization focuses its efforts mostly within India, there are many other similar organizations that aim to decrease the prevalence of HIV/AIDS in other parts of the world. Condom distribution is certainly not the only means of contributing to this effort. In fact, while watching a travel show on PBS a few months ago, I was struck by a needle exchange program employed in many parts of the world. According to Avert.org, this program basically works by providing “access to sterile syringes and other injecting equipment such as swabs and sterile water to reduce the risk of IDUs coming into contact with other users’ infected blood.” Such programs have been shown to significantly reduce HIV/AIDS rates, and a study by the WHO found no evidence that they increased usage of illicit drugs. Moreover, needle exchange programs view drug use as a medical condition rather than a criminal activity. As a result, they teach drug users about safe disposal techniques, safer sex practices, and how to access treatment. The U.S. finally lifted the ban on government funding of these programs in 2009.

Having not been directly involved with the sex industry or intravenous drug usage, I can only speculate as to what is feels like to be pushed to the edges of society as a result of something that may be entirely out of your control (i.e. resorting to sex work or drug usage). Since both sex workers and drug users typically resort to such measures out of economic desperation, it is frustrating to see that much of the resistance to previously mentioned reform programs is based on misunderstood conceptions of how and why these people live the way they do. The assumption that sex workers and drug users have only themselves to blame for their condition is an uneducated, individualistic viewpoint that fails to consider the broader structural conditions that contribute to their wellbeing, such as institutionalized racism and the feminization of poverty. I also feel it is naïve and unrealistically utopian to assume our world exists without money for sex or illicit drugs.

Only true economic, racial, and gender equality can ensure that all individuals are given the same opportunities to pursue a potentially drug-free, prostitution-free and/or HIV-free life. As stated in the article published by RH Reality Check: “The exercise of human rights should not be contingent on whether or not you think a person’s choices or circumstances are a good way to live or be. Entangling morality with a conversation about rights…only perpetuates their disempowerment.”

Saving Face, or Self Mutilation?

Human beings have flaws. Lots of them. One of my flaws is a fascination with the MTV show “The Hills”. I hate MTV and I think it sucks, but for some reason I occasionally like to watch that particular show. So, one of the “characters” is Heidi Montag, who is in the news a lot recently because of some extensive plastic surgery she underwent at the end of last year.

This woman is apparently the victim of a warped self image. She had 10 procedures done over a 10 hour time period. When one examines before and after photos, the change is quite dramatic.

People carving up their bodies and faces is not exactly a new phenomenon. But I still can’t help but be repulsed by it. Some would argue that it is the product of an image-obsessed culture. It is natural for one to want to look their best. But I feel that using cosmetic surgery to alter your features is a drastic, unnecessary and dangerous measure.

Reconstructive plastic surgery is another story; I see nothing wrong with that. But a 23 year old woman who is already beautiful electing to have cosmetic procedures such as “neck liposuction” or “chin reduction” perplexes and saddens me. Beauty fades, looks fade… I’d rather take pride in the nature of my soul than the arrangement of my face.

You can see a clip from “Good Morning America” where Heidi Montag is asked some tough questions here on Jezebel.

Feminism Triumphs Fun....Sometimes

Even though I considered myself to be a feminist before I began working at the WRC, during my time here I have become even more aware of the gender stereotypes that are thrown at society from every possible direction. As a result, I find myself pointing out these instances to those around me and occasionally, I end up ruining everyone’s fun.

For instance I was watching TV with a friend of mine and a commercial for the show Burn Notice came on. As my friend and I watched I said “this drives me crazy…look…there’s the hot speeding sports car, the sexy skinny woman in a skimpy dress holding a big gun that of course she has complete command of, and the macho guy in sunglasses saying ‘looks like murder is in fashion this season’ (or something to that effect)...I mean come on, it’s like the writers said what do men like…hmm…spies in cool cars, explosions, guns and hot chicks…let’s throw all that together.” Unbeknownst to me at the time, my friend, unlike me who has never seen the show, likes and watches Burn Notice. From then on every time the commercial came on she made a comment like “oh no…there it is again” or “I know, I know, you’re right.” I know it seems like a small thing, but I don’t want her to feel bad for liking the show.

So last night when I was playing soccer (me, another woman, and about 25 men), the other woman scored a goal and I hear from the guys standing next to me say something like, “you just got scored on by a girl..!” I wanted to ask why it was so surprising that a girl scored, did they not think she was capable because she was a girl, were they trying to make the other team feel humiliated because a girl scored? But I didn’t say anything. I knew that I would probably be perceived as the lecturer-feminist who couldn’t just laugh along with everyone else. So…when it was my turn to play…I scored a goal…and while similar comments may still have been made on the sidelines…I concluded that this was probably a more effective way to get the message across.

Upcoming AFC events and FIRST meeting!

While the U.S. has one of the most advanced health care systems in the world, it also has the second-highest infant mortality rate of any industrialized nation. Midwives preside over most births throughout Europe and Japan, but less than 10% of American births, despite their proven record of care and success. The Women’s Resource Center and Advocates for Choice are starting off the semester with a showing of “The Business of Being Born,” a documentary that explores the history of obstetrics, the role and history of Midwives, and how many common medical practices may be doing new mothers more harm than good. Please attend on Tuesday, January 26 from 7:00-8:30 p.m. at the Women’s Resource Center (on corner of Lincoln Highway and Normal).

Similarly, Advocates for Choice, a student organization dedicated to educating the university community about reproductive health and access issues, will have its first meeting of the semester here at the Women's Resource Center on Monday, January 25 from 6:00-7:00 p.m. To learn more about this growing group, e-mail advocatesforchoiceniu@gmail.com or find us on Facebook.

Look forward to seeing you at this and/or many of the other upcoming Women’s Resource Center and Advocates for Choice events.

Remembering Miep Gies

I heard on NPR this morning that Miep Gies passed away yesterday at the age of 100. She was one of a group of people who hid Anne Frank and her family, as well as four other people, in a secret annex during World War II. She and her fellow helpers smuggled food, writing paper, news of the outside world, and books to those who hid in the attic. She also is responsible for “rescuing” Anne’s diary; she gave it to Anne’s father Otto after the young girl died in the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp.

I was amazed by the courage and bravery of this woman. Perhaps the most impressive thing was her refusal to be seen as a hero; she believed that a person should not be celebrated for doing what was right. That kind of conviction can serve as inspiration for all who aim to do the right thing.

Is it "true love" if everything about it is fake?

A new semester of school has just begun, and with it, my roommate has returned to our apartment from winter break. She also brought with her a new show that she has apparently been following. Last night she “reserved” the TV in order to watch the new episode. What, you may ask, is this show that has captivated my roommate’s attention? Tough Love.

Tough Love is a reality TV show on VH1 where contestants are trained on how to find a mate by a matchmaker, Steven Ward. With this brief description you can probably guess that the show is a recipe for a misogynistic disaster. He claims to have credentials to pick apart women because his mom was a matchmaker, although, at 28, he is not married, which seems to be the only goal that is worthwhile. Thus, he is failing at his own game. Additionally, besides telling women everything that they have going wrong for them, he also has some great (dripping with sarcasm) tips like this one:



(found on Steven Ward's profile)

Fortunately, we have Sarah Haskins to help make fun of the show for us:



I know that the quality of the shows that VH1 produces are never up to my feminist standards, but I feel that shows like this SCREAM “offensive.” I watched an episode with my roommate and could not stop thinking about how insulting it is to women everywhere. The host dissects each woman - basically telling her that a man can never love her for who she is, and that she should change herself to be more appealing to the opposite sex. Whatever happened to loving -and respecting- someone for who they are (quirks and all)?